There's is a new baby in my family and I've never had a baby as family so naturally it's all I can be excited about in this long lasting moment of leaving Portland. I'm sitting on my floor that is empty of anything that would make our place comfortable, and cluttered with all things that make it look like we still have a long way to go until we are done packing.
Things are going so well with leaving. Why am I always so surprised and relatively ungrateful for when all things seem to go together so well? I guess if I had a profound answer to that question than this would be a blog worth reading.
The other night I was hanging out with Beall and Joy. I had borrowed a kitten for the night who belongs to my student Becky. If we weren't moving I would go to great lengths to keep him. He is orange and striped and I would even cut a hole in our garage door for him to go in and out if that was necessary. Becky let me name him and so I decided on something South African so she would remember what I had taught her about injustice. I named him Nelson Mandela. Mandela was falling asleep standing up. It was so funny that we were laughing very hard and there was a general happiness about having the heater on and the record player going that we were surprised when we noticed Beall's laughter had turned into crying. It struck me that there is quite a fine line between laughing very hard and crying. The emotional release of both is significant. For Beall, she was caught in a moment of realizing the immense beauty of our friendships and could see that soon they would be changing for a long time.
Consider the last time you cried hard. I know mine and I was alone so I didn't have to worry about the redness, puffyness, gaspingness, etc. and it was an important time for me of mourning the fact that I was leaving students who had come to depend on me. I supposed I had come to depend on them as well, why else would I be so sad?
I love hard laughter. Consider the last time you laughed so hard you had your specific hard laughing side effects (watery eyes, pain in your side, snorting, etc.) The collective value of moments like that with people you are close to is one of the good gifts coming down from our Father of heavenly lights.
5 comments:
I would like to be the first person to 1. comment on your blog and 2. tell you that it is wonderful to hear your thoughts on friendship and laughter and crying and family and everything in between. Please keep writing in South Africa. I will be reading.
lisa, lisa, lisa!! you have a blog and we didn't know! good thing you commented on lesley's blog and I figured it out. better keep this updated on your travels! :)
I finally remembered your blog and found it! What JOY to read! I miss you, but know you are in process and God is at work. Even so,I feel like calling Beall and having a good cry. Or better yet, a good laugh! Love and prayers to you and Chase, Mom
the hardest i can remember crying in my quasi-adult life is the day after your wedding. i was overcome with gratefulness for the opportunity to stand beside you on that day, and also touched with sadness as we all took one step farther away from each other.
also, i looove that you named the kitten Nelson Mandela.
also, i loooove that your mom's screen name is "carole or mom"
Amen. Nothing competes with "that laughter." I think Beall carries it with her. I will never forget sitting in front Dr. Fisk Freshman year in the theater at Westmont. Horribly wonderful.
I second Anna's observation regarding "Carol or Mom."
Lovely entry, Lisa.
Love,
Beth
Post a Comment