I had a moment today in the car. I’m not proud of the moment and whilst it was happening I had a fleeting thought about how embarrassed I would be if people could see me. Or rather hear me. I was making up a song. Outloud. The song was about how much I don’t like Oregon drivers. Oregon drivers are not to be confused with Oregonians. I love Oregonians, I almost am one. There was a certain amount of anger in my tune. I was saying things like, “you are all terrible drivers, you don’t even know how to merge, you’re so stupid and you get mad at me, but it’s just because you’re jealous that I live in California and can go visit there on Alaska Airlines for relatively little expense…” There were some other more developed ideas coming out in my lyrics, but you get the idea. I may have some unresolved anger. Or, maybe I’m just a passionate person. Nope, I’m not super passionate, I think I have some anger lurking.
I was thinking about Cape Town today, as I often find myself doing throughout my days, and I was remembering that I used to be angry when I was there about things that were much more important than how much I am hindered in making good time from a. to b. by Oregon Drivers. I was angry about things like racism or the general unfairness of life as so blatantly characterized by society in Cape Town. Now it’s just the Oregon drivers. Why is my world getting smaller these days? Is it that drivers in this state are really that bad? It’s very possible, they are quite terrible. But also, I felt a twinge of small mindedness for my road rage. You see, it wasn’t an isolated incident; I’m a frequent road rager lately.
I’d like to capture moments where I forget about how big and lovely and wretched the whole world is and get caught up in pouring my energy in to things like road rage or spending money on things that distract me momentarily or choosing productivity over relationship. I’d like to look at the world through wider eyes.
All this to say…we’re back in Oregon and there is a chance, be it ever so small, that the armourville blog may live on.
